I have actually, I’ve been playing boarderlands2 with some good friends of mine for the past two weeks. While I did enjoy myself, my current project is sitting dead in the water. I know you all are gonna love the crap outta it if I ever get it finished. I’m only now starting to return to it. It’s really hard to explain, but I’m just as drawn to my work as I am to doing normal stuff with my friends. It’s conflicting being pulled like that. It’s the choice of turning my back on my craft and feeling normal with the others or going off and doing what I know I should be doing. Thankfully Steven Pressfield wrote a very helpful book called the war of art that has helped me keep a handle on things. Other artists I’ve followed on tumblr break down quite a bit but Steven unmasked those dark thoughts. He gave it a name, resistance. Once you give that enemy to your work a name, you can fight it. I feel I’ve done a good job at this so far, but if people like Robin can lose to it after fighting it so long, even with so many fans. It bothers me that I might share that fate or one like it down the road. We all know all artists and writers are bat shit insane, sitting alone day after day making things while all there friends are out enjoying themselves. Maybe I’m just over thinking things, which is why I rarely voice my opinions, but who can really say what sort of state my head is going to be in after doing this for few years. Commissions make me a nervous wreck, I don’t fear failure I just feel the need to avoid it at all cost.
Figured I say something aboutRobin William’s passing and as most of ya’ll know I don’t really express my own opinions much. Firstly, I am very sad to hear about his death and how he passed on. He was an entertainer and brought life to so many fond movies and characters that most of us enjoyed.
What bothers me is how he passed on. I fancy myself an entertainer in my own way and I wont lie a good sum of people love and enjoy my work. For that I am very thankful. I’m not depressed in any way I don’t believe, ( though I’m told most people that are don’t realize it) but every now and then I do get some dark thoughts about my art and if I’m really cut out for this. I wont say Robin had these thoughts and they finally got to him, I have no idea what really drove him to that point but I do worry my own thoughts might become more of a problem in the future. I figure I got a pretty good handle on it now but, who knows in a few years.
As an entertainer, an artist I am constantly battling with my self. Is this worth posting? Should I really open comissions?I have to get better before I expose this. I say stuff like this all the time. I have no idea how this will effect my head down the road but every time I hear of something like this it makes me worry. I will miss Robin, but there was a dark side we never knew about him, and that’s the the part that gets to me.
Some times I just want to pack my tablet away and join my friends playing games, but I don’t think I can do that any more how ever. If I’m not creating, I don’t feel like I’m moving forward. I can’t sit down and enjoy a good long rpg any more, tv just makes me feel like I wasting time. I don’t know where I was going with this, maybe it’s a warning. If you choose to be an entertainer, an artist , writer, creator…. you are signing up for hell, whether you realize it or not.
Behold…. the New Twilight Sparkle
Thanks to all who participated! Tune in next time for the Next Asian challenge!
All lovely images, but I’m alittle pissed I missed this one. All things considering, heh.
Today’s Asian Challenge is… Robot Twilight!
Be she unicorn, alicorn, humanoid, anthro, R63’d or whatever! Up to you!
You’ve got 30 minutes to create followed by 15 minutes to submit! have Fun!
… well then
I think we all know which one Spike’s gonna pick…
(OOC: Backgrounds provided by BonesWolbach.)
Honking is the least I can do.